Finally waiting

In you I find

the earthiness of the sky

the limitless earth

a love full

of paradox

In you I find

the enormity of smudged kohl

the world's tinkling

captured in one whole breath

In you I find

my superficiality

reflected in your pools of brown

my heartbeats captured

in one curve of those lips

In you I find

the feet that roamed

then walked

finally waiting

In you I find

mists that do not

engulf starlight

and annoyed brows

melting like butter

In you I find

melancholy.

pa-ra-parra-pa

Her voice and my thoughts are drowned by perpetually warring and barking dogs. In my head I run in different directions. But never to different people.

It’s an odd calm. The calm after the storm.

there’s a battle outside

and it’s raging

It’s a riot with notes. An attempt to tease the little bit of peace in you.

A sudden urge to photograph this ladder in front of the bedroom door. Add some colour, and it would make for a perfect picture.

Perfect. Perfect?

She had sent me this jazz piano piece saying it described her frame of mind right now. Think she was talking about this mess I call my mind.

Error 678.

And then it’s a one-sided affair.

I seem to be in more than just one such persuasion.

Indeed.

the times, they are a changin’

"One sec."

It's been gnawing at my insides. All the way to my blood stream.

There are answers nobody asked for.

Angry dragons nobody woke up.

Will I ever know? Ever know those brown eyes well enough never to doubt them?

Doubt me?

I've cried with my hands folded, with a prayer on my lips- only twice. Today, it was desperation.

Today it was wisdomrelationshipsforgivenesspatiencecalmsanitylove.

In the mess I call my head.

So what if you go carousel in colour and drum beats one evening? You come back, and it's right there.

Sitting.

Waiting.

Waiting patiently.

As always.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow

It's been grey.

Rainy.

Windy.

Cold.

Cloudy, foggy, driving into the clouds. With raindrops racing off the windscreen.

Part of me hates it.

The other part is head over heels in love with it.

So the story of last night.

Shoes kicked off. Lying in some corner.

And a piece of night sky. Out the dusty window.

And I text.

Then it strikes me.

How many loves do we have in our lives? And till where do we have to walk to seek fulfillment?

Human existence never seemed stranger.

So many cocoons of conversations. Relationships. Loves. But never quite there.

In this mess of meetings and separations, I've arrived.