when you go

everything goes
when you go
so go slow

my eyelashes
are a little heavy
from kohl
or liquor
I can't tell

everything falls apart
when you go
so go slow

is everything
supposed to be the same
or is my heartbeat
telling

of the erratic stories
you and I penned
over the moon cycles
and the waves
crashing and ebbing
on my heart

everything breaks down
when you go
so go slow

your fingers traced stories
on my back
and the crests of my waist
leaving magnum opera
and sagas
of love and a little drunkenness

now they're my story
my life
in ways I can't erase
from my blood

how easily
we draw lines
between us
between your heart
and mine
like blood on battle fields

honey, let's not
make battle fields
of our hearts
cause the rivers
of our beings
lead to the same sea

light, dust, a little rust

you would think
that the best thing
about globetrotting
would be a worn out,
achy suitcase
stamps on your passport
in different ink
and a slightly
hazed and crazed
mosaic of experiences
collected and forgotten

but the best thing
about travel
is not even a new horizon
or a violently
free sunset

I wish I could take
your hand
and make you stand
where I stood
and show you

the dewy purple
of the milky way
the vast ocean
of the galaxies
that you won't even know
the fairy dust
and the faint lust
of the star dust
a sky celebrating
the light in your
soul
and the dreams
in your eyes
and the violent urge
in every fibre
of your being
to be, to just be
then
there
right there
and gaze.
gaze at the magnificence
of what is being written
before you -
before you feel
a little bit of you
leave you
and join the body
of the star spangled sky
and become one.

it is that moment
when you are
and you believe it more than ever
except you don't

this reality could
not be unparalleled
on the surface
of some violet coloured star
somewhere in this expanse,
where at this moment
a bit of me
must be leaving
to join the body of the
star spangled sky.

drake, iron and wine

send yourself out in the rain
mark crooked windows
them blue window panes
send out ships from your chest
send them out in the rain

the rain which was deep
deeper than the indigo
yesterday
is escaping from the vastness
of the universe
tipping stars over
and finding its way
into your cup of tea today
spread open your finger tips
and invite it in

the late evenings
were full of ghost cars
finding their homes
only to send themselves
out in the rain again
as the earth spun
spun itself silly
the cub's nose remained
as the 'x' in algebra
there
there
ever there

begonia avenue

this night is lonely
and with you
lonelier still

I fidget with gadgets
which range across
colour and proportion
stained with hues
of years spent battling
against time
and ourselves

try crawling under
the blanket
when cub and home
come calling
and leave me wondering
why homesickness
strikes but surely
even as you lie
right there

home is after all
you
and nothing
at once

it is then
that this crazed thing
my mind
takes me to the cold
pane of the window
that I don't open
for its creak
I wait long enough
marking the unmarked horizon
and for three trucks to pass by
before finding the
will and melancholy
to want to
date stamp this
into foreverness

insignificance

sometimes
on Tuesday evenings that stretch into
forevers
you come to mind

you, whose name I haven't decided
who lives in swirls
of red and hues of it
who is a constant companion
in the loneliness that comes
with this soul
and all the poetry

hazes visit you
your irises
they tell you of the look I had on my face
yesterday
whilst I waited for nothingness
and the tips of my fingers
when they touch the keys
to write what I don't feel

perhaps it is solace
or puppy breath
or rain on that verandah
illuminated by street lights
or maybe almond cookies
that conspire within their hearts
to replace your thoughts

your thoughts that come trotting
wearing gum boots
smiling
waving
promising
and confusing

they leave huge footprints
and in all the wrong places
and when she comes knocking
tomorrow morning
she'll be wondering
who exactly wears gum boots
in the balm that
comes with june

Cityscapes

There are two ways of discovering a city.

One is by walking through its streets, getting lost even with a map because you don't have your bearings right. But every wrong turn you take, takes you to a new street which is bustling with activity - and as you walk down the street, you switch off your GPS and just, walk. Walk without aim, without reason and without direction. Walk wherever your feet take you, walk across people outside bars and restaurants too expensive on your student-pocket. Across lights that never turn green for cars, cyclists and pedestrians all at once. So you're always ahead, and you're always behind.

The other is by looking at a city from outside. It is only by being an outsider can you see a city in its wholeness. An airplane landing always has people craning to see the city beneath them. London Eye saw me looking at London the way I had never thought possible - with a little bit of fondness that I may have unconsciously developed for it. I also wondered how different life would be here, if I shared it with someone. If there was some familiarity to hold on to. Someone who knew me beyond my nationality, the tongue I speak or the year I was born in. Beyond my interests, my course and my student ID.

There are two ways of discovering life. Two ways of discovering who you're meant to be.

not my playlist

a sunlit morning

i'm alone

but i'm not lonely

bring the sunshine

back to my eyes

wait for me

i'm not ready

to string words together

without music

to face cities

without you

as i turn page

over page

the thought

and smell

of my city

return

there's a different design

and purpose

behind that skyline

your fingers streak

sunsets there

as your breath

clouds my thoughts

i can only ink -

you can paint

as most cities are

Lightning demarcates

boundaries of clouds

blanketing this inky night.

It's a lonely city

as most cities are

an occasional passer-by

and a painful pull.

Transatlantic.

Who knows how much havoc

intermittent flashes of

lightning cause.

They sure light up the world

for a tiny second

here

and there.

But they're unaccompanied

by thunder.
Or rain.

Much like this city -

lone, alone.

They say everybody

grows up.

And grows hard and unforgiving.

Life then, I believe

was never a child.

And living - never child's play.

Where do you run?

As the world watched you.

Where do you hide?

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Exhausted.

Returning to Classic

I love returning home at this particular hour when the sky's inky, slowly inching towards nightfall.

The red of the brake lights is oddly blurred when the lake meets the sky in a haze of the same ink.

The several windows lit up like tiny pinpricks.

Secrets close to my heart.

His smile.

Kisses on his nose.

His perfume.

One that only I am familiar with.

Him.

the joy of nothingness

orange light

upside down

in perspective

and

slow dancing

in a burning room

while he and she

sang some

long forgotten

90's number

fingers tracing

trails that

dust left behind

and patches of

a different sky

lit by

a hundred fireflies

almost as if

you've arrived

to yourself again

to the joy of

nothingness

I walk from...

Light to darkness

Calm to storm

Sitting on the threshold

It's havoc

Wrecked loose on me

In the slight

Sound of rain

And rolling, laughing thunder

Silhouettes in a world

Plunged into an abyss

I walk from

Silence to thunder

Peace to mayhem

Feet numbed

And this sheet moistened

Water levels rising

The storm picks up

Laughter lost somewhere

Like paper boats

Battered by the rains

Playfulness abandoned

Thunder,

Means business now.

Drafts

Take me to the place

I call home.

White walls

red curtains

and sundays with

kids in locked rooms.

You fill up

empty spaces

but the ones you don't

echo with the sound of

fading memories

fading into

oblivion.

Someday maybe

under this blue sky

that we share

they'll be heard.

Again.

I'm done with

being a hippie

and masks worn

to please everyone.

I'm beyond

opinions and trivia

constantly flung about

even in this sunny place.

But your silence

is all that

I'll ever need

cause I know

that it sounds

in the crevices.

It's late when

I return

and the sky's purplish

near the horizon

glaring headlights

the breeze carrying

a hint of rain.

Makes me think

of older times

when there was

unpredictability

in my laughter

and uncertainty

in my thoughts.

Acoustics

and intermingling

of life.

I'd started to write

about something

and acoustics

and intermingling

of life

led me on

to territories

I knew nothing of.

Opel Corsa Sail

Three drunken nights

in a row,

frozen, seized muscles

and the smell

of toothpaste

of deodorant.

Smoking worth

three bucks.

Welcome,

you're there.

Closed eyes

against the afternoon sun.

Again -

Who the fuck IS Alice?

The evening is a story

on its own

with falling into ponds

and harem pants

and hours that

you don't remember.

But then

the stars come out

and you can't stop

gazing, wondering.

You haven't seen

so many

at once.

The moon's fucking beautiful

and when he looks at you

so are you.

But there is

just something

which stops you

over and over again.

Unresponsive

and nonreciprocal.

Separation.

Ten minutes

and one call later

he's back

and so are you.

His eyes

never move away

neither do his

fingers.

Your skin smells

of him.

You have half

a corsa sail

for him to

pin your hair

behind your ear

and ask you

very softly.

You have half

a corsa sail

to know

that you would give up

almost anything

for that moment

to last into eternity.

Right then in

his arms.

You have half

a corsa sail.

Above the orange

I was swinging.

Swinging high enough

For my toes to tickle

The sky.

I threw my head back

And the world

Turned upside down.

The stars shone,

The inky sky interspersed

With their

Intermittent twinkling.

I followed one

Through the vacillations,

When I heard

A nine-year old's mind.

The star was her grandfather.

He watched over her.

I looked at her

For one whole minute

And agreed

With all my heart.

The inkiness

Of the sky

Transcended its borders

At that moment,

My smile lost in it.